This is Tyler the Douchebro. He's my trainer and we've talked about how I don't really like him that much. This may be a gigantic understatement or it may be a lie. I can't figure out which...
I made the grave mistake of telling Tyler he's mildly internet famous.
I couldn't help it. I just wanted the chance to say "Douchebro" out loud. C'mon, you guys - can you imagine saying "DOUCHEBRO!" in the personal training room FULLLLLLL of douchebros?!
It was too good an opportunity to pass up. So I took it.
And then came the consequences.
Tyler was curious to read about what I had wrote. I warned him it was not good.
"That can't be true. You LOOOOOVE me!"
Poor little naive Tyler-face. He had seemed to have forgotten that I am the only female on this planet on which his bro-charms have no effect. I have told him, "I always ask for the ugly, funny trainer. Then they gave me you. That's some fuckin' bullshit right there."
He's the "ugly, funny" trainer they gave me, with a girl cropped out of his photo. When I asked him for a pic to include in my redaction blog post and he texted me this, I told him it was ridiculously appropriate.
Anywho, back to the Softer Side of Tyler:
He read the post. I figured I had nothing to hide as I'd already posted it all over the interwebs.
He laughed a lot throughout his 4 minutes of reading and then he gave me my phone back.
Tyler was mildly amused... but secretly full of vengeance.
How could a guy with this face make me suffer, you wonder?
Easily - he's my personal trainer and I made the mistake of trusting him.
After being determined to "go HELLA HARD" every time just to prove his ass wrong, I decided to go along with almost anything he said.
Four sets of 45 squatting exercises later, when I could hardly wobble to get something to drink, I started to wonder what had happened.
He kept me entertained by talking our usual shit (though it was smattered with a few more encouraging comments this time around, which was very helpful) and I kept going. I was falling over and I kept going. I was feeling weird when I got up from squats and quite literally going balls to the wall (this one weighed 12 lbs and he's named after an ex).
The one thing Tyler does that ALWAYS makes me feel happy is saying "Mer!!"
When I'm about to give up, he'll start counting, "One, mer. TWO, mer. THREEEE, mer. Four, MER!"
I can't stop laughing.
So, well done, Tyler. Not only have you sought and reveled in your sweet, sweet vengeance - you've also won me over with a nerdy phrase.
Tyler - 1. Steph - 1.
The battle rages on...