I forgot to tell you that I took a break...

Me (left) and my sister (right) colouring with crayons in our childhood backyard

I have a long-standing relationship with crayons. When I dubbed myself a "Life-Long Crayon Enthusiast" on my business cards, I wasn't kidding. So I started telling the world that I wanted to make an amigurumi crayon line, cos "Do what you love and love what you do," right? But I guess that telling the world what you love and showing them are two totally different things.

Showing them requires a lot of hard work, scary leaps of faith and hope for it all to turn out right.

Somewhere along the line, I seemed to run out of all those things.

In the past 4 years that I've been running nerd JERK, I'd like to think that I've been pretty transparent about how I've lived my life - creative and otherwise. I've taken big leaps of faith and you've all joined me for the ride. And I'm very grateful.

But most of 2013, you've all been waiting for me to come on back... to join you on this creative journey again.

There have been those folks who knew me when I was a power work horse. I'd stay up all day and all night for weeks, just to get things done for my creative business. I set HUGE goals and, much to my surprise, I MET THEM! I got to work with my freaking heroes! I got to give speeches and classes at successful universities and huge conferences. I was invited to travel around the United States and help people learn about this creative industry that I've always loved. I even got married with the help of my creative peers to the most creative guy in my life in front of all the folks who helped make it possible.

It's crazy-amazing how blessed I've been.

The walkway to my wedding reception, lit up by The Society of National Industry's amazing pyramid lights - photo by Stefanie Renee

So I really don't why it was that I just shut down at the end of 2012...

Everything seemed to be going my way. I was working with Rena Tom at Makeshift Society in San Francisco, helping her spread the news in every way that I could. To this day, I still rock the MSS calling cards and give them out to people I think would be interested in her vision and what it has to give to the world of creative dreamers, movers & shakers. I even pay the dues every month even though I haven't much in my bank account, nor have I been to the clubhouse in 6 months. I do this because when you believe in something, you support it as much as you possibly can. And even though I've been absent, I believe in Rena and her vision - I've seen MSS change lives. And it certainly changed mine.

After my work there was finished, I started concentrating on my other projects (of which there always seem to be so many). Then I suddenly stopped.

And it never occurred to me to ask myself why...

It occurred to me to feel a lot of shame about not doing more, not going out and seeking new partnerships and opportunities. So I tried to reach out and make more of those partnerships again at Craftcation in March this year. And with a minimal amount of effort, I had a butt-ton of new friends! I told people about new things and helped them with little hitches they kept hitting. I was amongst friends and I was enjoying myself.

In fact, I found myself in a whole new pool of amazing folks with even more new opportunities. There were even some people who referred to me as a "Craft-lebrity!"

And I was shocked. Cos how could I be considered a craft-celebrity if I'd been absent for the first quarter of the year?

I'll post this ultra-unflattering selfie to drive the point home

I guess the truth of it is that I just ran out of steam. I ran out. And I didn't know where to get more.

Since I ran out, I'm not where I want to be.And I only kinda have some sort of inkling of how to get back to that place where I'm helping people out and feeling fulfilled.

But, like I said earlier, it requires a lot of hard work, scary leaps of faith and hope for it all to turn out right.

Judging by how I nearly worked myself to death the last time I started from scratch (nerd JERK no longer means Mario, after all... and now I have to make crayons the next big thing) and I've lot a ton of momentum on this overwhelming pile of projects... what do I do to get back there? To regain the drive to even embark on the journey.

The truth?
I have no idea. But I think it started with posting those crayons. Maybe it starts with this post. Maybe showing how human I actually am helps me regain my faith... or just enough to make a few scary leaps.

I guess we'll have to see!

Not the only JERK in town - Soda Jerk Dillon

Since it was his last shift, I made Dillon sign his comic.
I totally realise this was wholly unnecessary, but he was a good sport about it.

Sometimes (and I hesitate to admit this) it's hard being the only JERK in town. And by that, I mean that humans often refer to me as "nerd JERK" and not my given name.

So what a relief it was when I walked in and saw Dillon at The Ice Cream Bar and someone referred to my new buddy as a "Soda Jerk."

It was obvious I was among friends.

What made it even better is that when Dillon had met on my previous visit to this 1930s style handmade soda & ice cream establishment, I had let him know that I thought this place was so cool that I might wanna do a comic about it.

So with my pen & notebook in hand, I started into The Ice Cream Bar's one year anniversary celebration.

What I didn't know was that it was my new friend's last shift ever. :(

That was until he told me... Good thing I keep my word and thought to bring my comic stuff (and that was just a failing Micron 08 & a shitty Daiso notebook).

Had to fix his name, cos he was tooooo effing nice to correct me on my spelling.

Today my friend Loun and I had "the best damn root beer float in the world" (Dillon's words) and a scoop of PB Rocky Road. I was trying to draw his hat while watching it through the mirrors in the joint when I heard my name. He was calling us over to the bar.

We chatted about it being his last night (I'm not gonna lie - I was pretty brokenhearted about it since he was way cool). I had given him my card last time, and he mentioned that he'd gone onto my website. That was damn cool of him.

He even said he wanted to order my comics and mentioned telling the owner that she ought to commission a comic about their unique shop. I was touched - and truth is, I would do the comic either way, cos the place is rad.

Here's a little more about Dillon:

I was gonna change his name, but hey! It's my mistake, so it stays in its pure form.
All facts were fact-checked by the man in the comic.

We sat at the bar for a while, having our waters refilled and chatting with him between customers. He made some rather interesting drinks with tinctures and extracts - he even tasted them as he was making them, which really impressed me.

As I was inking his bowtie, we geeked out about Mario Kart 64. He even combed his phone's pictures to show us his customised controller. It was such a good time being the gang of nerds in the corner.

I wanted to invite him over to play N64 before he left town, but I ended up rationalizing against it for some reason. I mean, I'd only met him once before and he was taking off. He was probably busy and stuff.

I imagine he was like "Why are you asking me to take this picture?"

Well, I won't say that I'll never go back to The Ice Cream Bar, cos I was there last night and Alex made us a totally legit Pistachio Milkshake of DOOM with Wild Cherry Whipped Cream (YUMMMM!!).

But I will definitely miss Dillon. San Diego, you'd better know what you're in for: a whole lotta deliciousness from this Soda Jerk.

From one JERK to another:
Dillon - you had better send me your address. I owe you some comics. And if you're down, Loun and I would love to play some Mario Kart with you when you visit SF.

Slightly Larger Glasses for 2013 - My Big Plans

Test Shot for my "Slightly Larger Glasses for 2013" vlog
Tests shots are great, cos they show you BBW bags in the background

So once again, the year has changed and we're starting anew, nerds!

But THIS YEAR, I'm starting pretty dang new by doing something really scary: letting go of something I'm known for and just putting MYSELF out there for the world to invest in.

EEP!

The emotional baggage that came with moving onto selling only my original character designs and nerdtastic art has been unexpectedly roller coaster-like.

• "Will they like it?"
• "Sure, they'll like it."
• "Will they buy it?"
• "Sure, they'll buy it!"
• "Will they want more?" 
• "Will they lose interest?" 
• "Will they hate what I'm truly designing from my insides?"
• "...Ermmmmm???"

I'm sure that everyone has this negative self-talk as an entrepreneur. It's natural that when you do something kinda scary (like all the amigurumi plush you've become known for since 2005!), you start to let those scary feelings creep in. After all, it's the quirky neurosis that gives us our loveable charm!

But I just need to remember that I don't need to let those feelings take me over.

So, in the spirit of making SURE that I make good with all of my big promises, I did a couple of videos on New Year's Eve on 2012. 

This is the first of my promises to you:

I will always let you know what my plans are.

nerd JERK's Slighty Larger Glasses for 2013 from Steph Cortes @ nerdJERK on Vimeo.

So now they we've gotten THAT out there, let's make sure our plans for the new year stick!

Here's to 2013, folks! Big plans, big hugs and big excitement!

Geek on,

- Steph

My 1st Renegade Craft Fair: Branding Inspiration for LA

I took this photo for you all in my new home studio, #AWESOMEnerdnest.
Get used to seeing these coloured magnetic blocks from TEGU - I bought them to make videos with!

This may shock you, Awesome Reader: 

But I kinda have an addiction to colour.

It's a bit serious. I even hinted at it on my new business cards:

My neon green Catloaf from Careful It Bites approves over my new MOO cards; even the typo rocks.

You can't be a "life-long crayon enthusiast" without totally being an addict (..duh).

But can you believe I was scared of sharing that? I was scared of sharing a lot about my life.

I can't tell you how often I try to fix my mistakes in life. I've always been worried about what people will think about how I do something: in my life, in my business, in my dreams.

But the reality of it is that it's not so bad.

And that's why I go balls out with my branding at nerd JERK. 

Balls... like in this video that my animator, iCKY the Great, showed me long ago. 

José Gonzalez's version of "Heartbeats" plays in my head whenever I bounce around San Francisco as a native.

So when I was accepted to my very first Renegade Craft Fair this Holiday Season, I was bouncing around!!! I bounced all over different stores, trying to find the perfect way to express my inner holiday beast! I wanted to show the Renegade Gang that they made the best decision ever to invest in me this year.

I'll be in LA on December 8th & 9th, showing off new goods... as in THE NEW STUFF I'VE BEEN DESIGNING ALL YEAR! (which bearo did an AMAZING write up about! Click here to read it!)

 

EXCLUSIVE: I asked the rad Jian Shen of bearo come & get a "Behind the Scenes LOOK" 

at how I construct my amigurumi. Click HERE to see the exclusive PHOTO ARTICLE!

Photos courtesy of Jian Shen of bearo.com

Can you tell I'm excited yet? That's the face I'm making right now, writing this article for you. 

Can you tell I'm effing stoked to be able to create plush toys for a living?!?!

If not, I took this picture and tried to convey how I feel every time I sell something to an Awesome Human.

Oh how I love you, EPIC CUSTOMERS!
 I can't wait to send you some
awesomeness from my home studio.
Until then, let's run into each other on the internets.

Our Geek Rockstar Wedding Video

Roger L. Moore [Effing AWESOME sf] & Steph C. Cortés [nerd JERK] became "The AWESOME-nerds" on Saturday, 13th October 2012 in San Francisco at around 6:30 PM... and they couldn't be more happy!

I know it's super late, guys, but I have been a busy Mrs. Cortés. Until I have enough time to really get back into hanging out, check out this AMAZING video that Golden Gate Xpress put together about our Geek Rockstar Wedding!

So glad to have been able to work with Kirstie Haruta on this story. She listened to me babble endlessly. Check outm ore of her work here.

And tell us what you think! Cos... we're turning this into my first BOOK!!!

*shuts eyes tight, cross fingers, whispers excitedly* Please comment, please comment, please enjoy this, please wanna read the book, please please please...

OUR GEEK ROCKSTAR WEDDING - A Sneak Peek into the Pre Wedding Prep + Green Room Lighting

I didn't care what I had to do, but I knew in my heart of hearts as soon as I saw these handmade neon coloured pyramid lights, I had to f*cking have them for our wedding. 

Pyramid Light Garland in Pink Mint Neon - by The Society of National Industry - $65 USD

And I say that in the most sincerest way possible.

... cos how could I not, right?!?!!

So I was doing some trolling on the internets (read: actually catching up on my Facebook whilst picking my nose, or something equally as stupid), I stumbled up an Etsy Find post... and my mind was blown.

Keep in mind that this was after my 2nd or 3rd day of teaching at School House Craft in Seattle, WA as a Certified Etsy Educator (which means I was effing exhausted from all the work I had been doing all weekend).  It was pretty late at night and I was in my friend & fellow Etsy Educator/Local Etsy Team Captain's (Marlo M) house!

.. which means I should have been asleep.

But HAD I actually been doing what I was "supposed" to be doing, I probably wouldn't have stumbled upon the most epic find of all epic finds in the universe.

... cos, I mean... C'MON! F*CKIN' PYRAMID LIGHTS!!!

Did you already forget what they look like? Oh? Really, well let me give you ANOTHER PHOTO (please)!!

Even more gorgeous when lit up at night (is that even possible?! You'll SEE!)
Pyramid Light Garland in Pink Mint Neon - by The Society of National Industry - $65 USD

It might also interest you to know that I am in no way being paid or compensated for yelling about these amazing lights to your internet-faces.

Actually, I should have been spending my last 2 hours working on a press release that I need done and sent out to the universe in 3 hours...

... cos, you know, that's an important thing about out unique-assed effing geek rockstar wedding (how do I hashtag that!?!).

But, like, WHATEVER! (confession: I recently rewatched "Clueless" on Netflix and I'm still havin' Cher-echoes)

These are gonna be EPIC!

Katey & Chris from The Society of National Industry (aka the humans that make these amazeball freakin' lights) claim that they deliver "Paper Goods from Outer Space"... and I gotta say, I kinda f*ckin' believe them!

Rainbow Neon Garland of Paper Pyramid Lanterns -  by The Society of National Industry - $40 USD

Oh... what was the point I was trying to make again?

OOOOOHHHH! I remember now: I'm using these amazing things at my wedding.

... which, if you remember my post from the very beginning of this year, is what my f*cking book is going to be about!

Here's a gratuitous shot of how we're celebrating:

Steph (me) & Roger being excited about our Geek Rockstar Wedding
Photos for our wedding all by Stefanie Renee

You can check out more photos of our (pre)wedding on Stefanie Renee's website... cos you know you wanna see what other shenanigans we were up to!

And you can also check out our evite: which includes even MORE PHOTOS from this awesome photo shoot that we did at Teahouse last week.

Our evite was designed as a surprise by my good friend, Bettina Throckmorton of iCKY the GREAT! You should check her blog out... she even did a whole post about the graphic she did for us:

Our little pixelated selves done by Bettina Throckmorton of iCKY the GREAT for our evite!

p.s. I made Roger shave his beard.

ANYWAYS - as you can see, it took a lot of people to help make things for our wedding possible. And all of it was done by friends (new from Outer Space, or old from Berkeley, CA & Rupert, ID) that supported us.

Man, I've got a case of the warm fuzzies... I should probably take that and do some work... or I could just add more things to my Etsy Wedding Registry.

hehehehheehe

Oh and if YOU WANNA SUPPORT OUR WEDDING, you've got 2 days left for our WEDDING SALE!

Roger and I put all the items in our shops on special pricing just to make it easy for everyone to help support our wedding - and this way, you get something geeky out of it, too!

NOTE: I am only making my high-quality hand-crocheted Nintendo Amigurumi til 12/31/2012. After that, it's gone for good!
So the next 2 days is your best bet of getting it at the best prices before they're gone.
== Shop for Wedding SALE nerd JERK stuff here

Roger has been holding his Effing Awesome sale, too! Like cute hand-sculpted mini food? How about wearing it?
== Shop for Wedding SALE Effing Awesome stuff here