12 May 2016

Day 1: Oh Balls - What Am I Getting Myself Into...

Today I start blogging daily because of this post and a hidden desire residing deep within me to share my #realtalk in a meaningful way. 

It occurs to me that I may have to do this in the few minutes it takes me to get to work, as that's the only chunk of time that I can semi-consistently set aside to write anything longer than 140 characters (and even THAT'S a stretch).

But my words will be out there, awesome-saucing somebody's brain nuggets.

I have this 5 month old boy & 38 year old husband that love me more than most people deserve to be loved, and yet, I feel this tremendous guilt every time I'm spend even a few minutes adoring them.

You guys are totally gonna bust my balls over this, right?

"It allllll goes by soooooo fast!!!" "They grow up and you'll never be able to experience this again." "They're so sweet at this age; soak it all in!"

*pulls giant UGGGHHH face*

Srsly, you guys - I KNOW! I promise that I know ALL of that. Thank you for your concern, but you don't know me.


It's *because* of their existence that I feel compelled to create awesomeness. I have this need to fulfill what I feel is my true calling: helping others get set up for success.

Basically, I wanna be the Mary Poppins of creative start up efforts, but, y'know, BAD ASS!!!

(Not throwin' shade, Mary - just tellin' it how it be...)

So here I am again, with big dreams and shakin' knees cos it looks that everything is starting to fall into place.

Oh shit.

Now what?

Paralyzed with the fear of success for once (yeah, I know I've been aight before, but not at something I'm THIS excited about), I feel like a tiny overly giddy dog quietly wetting himself in a corner of the Internet.

Why I'm a male dog in a corner in my own example just goes to show how effed up this cat-lover's mind really is at the moment...

So, how is this fat nerd girl tacklin' her probs? Podcasts and library books, of course!!!

Tara Swiger's "Explore Your Enthusiasm" has been saving my ass for the last 6 weeks. I'm listening to episodes from last year and finding just as much joy in them as the brand new ones coming out every week.

In one of them where she recommends books for creative humans, she mentioned Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert (who also happened to have penned one of my fave indie cookbooks that she co-authored with her great grandma... but that's another story).

I have decided that THIS book is it, especially since it wasn't even supposed to be checked in...

We'll see how it fares against my "never finishing any book ever" curse.

Love and junk,

- S

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