Day 13: On Intrigue

A day spent in panic is a day full of wasted energy. And, apparently, I'm a fan of wasting ALL the energy.

It's just so much easier to run around in circles than to do ALL the things. It's so much easier to dream than to realize those dreams. It's almost as if the dream is better than the reality.

Yes - I'm being vague.

And yeah, I'm kinda doing it on purpose.

I was listening to Mindy Kaling's Why Not Me? and she said something that really struck me, both professionally and personally.

"Why was I even entertaining this? I don't know why exactly.

Maybe because, well, in spite of everything, I was still intrigued by [...].

I'm not proud of it and it's a little embarrassing to say, but sometimes you like the idea of someone [or something] so much, you just wanna do whatever it takes to make it work."

There are lots of things that intrigue me. I'm pretty much a giant sufferer of "OOH SHINY/ SQUIRREL!" syndrome. 

Oh - you haven't heard of it? Let's probably because you're a healthy, relatively normal, functioning human adult. Congratulations for learning how to focus. Can we get back to me now?

#RealTalk: There's a time & place for intrigue, dudes. There's also a place for reality.

Make sure your intrigue is in line with where you wanna go. And if it isn't, don't try to hard too make it work.

"Whatever it takes" isn't necessary when you've been told a million times by the universe (and those who care about you) that you're wasting your time.

This has been an insightful bummer message by yours truly,

- Steph

Day 12: Five Lessons I've Learned from Writing Everyday

Back when I was young & creative, I used to constantly sketch.
Picture by Mark Congdon
(I think? Or whoever I was dating at the time)

When you've tasked yourself to write everyday, you quickly learn what your limitations are:

1. I am not good at schedules or deadlines because I am better at triaging situations that need my attention

Whether it's a client who needs input for her first craft fair or taking a night off to recharge, some things take precedence over writing words on time.

2. Even if I missed the deadline, I'll write the f*ckin' words anyway!

I'm super awesome at getting down on myself when I don't meet an arbitrary goal I've set.

I'm sure some of you are, too.

I suppose I'm feel rather enthusiastic lately!

Custom Elliott Smith shirt by my hubs.
We're thinkin' of sellin' em...

Email me if you want one!

One thing I really took away from podcast Episode 101 of "Explore Your Enthusiasm" with Tara Swiger was the actions we take after we don't meet our goals matter just as much, if not MORE, than meeting them in the first place. She breaks down a bunch of reasons why we may not have met our goals and ways to execute them anyway. (If you wanna listen, click here. There's also a free goal worksheet!)

When I walked around the neighborhood at night listening to that episode, I decided that goals are markers we want to reach. But without doing the work (if we just give up), we'll never get any closer.

So now I just write the damn words!

3. I have nuggets of wisdom in all of this profanity & people enjoy it.

The thing I'm hearing most in the feedback from this project so far is "I had no idea you were so funny!"

*dead pan stare*

... seriously, guys?

... like, seriously?

Ugh. Apparently, I need to talk to you more.

4. I need to work on my "22 minute episode" format.

The thing about slice of life posts is that it needs a beginning, a middle and an end with a moral or lesson. It's the reason sitcoms are so popular: they tackle an issue while telling funny stories that get resolved in 22 minutes.

If you couldn't tell, I'm not concise. I effing SUCK at getting to the point. I need pointers on getting point-y. Help?

5. It's not as hard as I thought. But I don't consider myself a blogger.

My friend, Andie, introduced me to another writer (professional columnist extraordinaire, Minerva Jayne) as a blogger. And while I do BLOG, I know being a blogger is a lot more work than just putting words on the Internet.

I still consider myself a quirky writer. Thoughts?!

I'm open to hearing what you think, internet.

If you're out there : WHAT SAY YOU?!?

Day 7: HULLO, 33 years of age!

Look at my excited face!

I'm gonna be old in a few days. When I say that, a lot of my friends are gonna groan.

That's okay. I know I was a baby and you were in high school. I know you STILL think I'm a baby. And, admittedly, I'm kinda acting like one lately (especially the last few days), but, you know, whatever. That's besides the point, you guys.

The point is Mid-Thirties, here I come!

On the cusp of my cusp-y birthday (21 May), I'm left to ponder what I have learned in the previous year.

• Don't be diabetic while pregnant unless you plan on having your kid 2 months early, in which case, DEFINITELY be diabetic whilst preggers
• Feel free to feel all the feels, but suffer the wrath of the consequences (especially whilst preggers)
• Talk really openly with your person about what bugs you. It always *sounds* like a bad idea, but if they're the person you're supposed to be with, it never is.
• Make lots of friends so you can help lots of people. They'll surprise you and start helping you when you didn't even know you needed help.
• Choose to be optimistic (especially whilst preggers)

My year was spent making Elliott, and while I adore the lil dude, I learned a lot of hard lessons whilst preggers. (For those of you wondering, we'll reassess our family planning goals in 2-3 years. Until then, it's the Ellie show! Weeee!)

Personally, I've grown a lot. And while I can see it and so can my closest friends, I'm still struggling. Reconciling frustration, disappointment & anger/resentment has never been my thing. Gah! But I think it needs to become my new thing.

But that's another post.

In the meantime, HULLO 33! I welcome you with lukewarm floppy hugs and a smirky grimace that won't quit. May you stay suck less than 32.

- Steph