06 July 2010

4 Simple Ways to Love Someone for a Long Time

People have known me to be "over" someone rather quickly after getting together with them. It's usually a period of 3 to 6 months, and then I can't stand my significant other.

So since this has been a pattern for all of my adult life, my friends have been approaching me, asking if I was "over" Roger yet.

"Nope," I smiled my reply.

They ask me why. It had already been more than a year. That's kind of ridiculous for me.

I shrugged and said, "I guess it's the way we treat each other."



I was recently talking with my boyfriend about how we show each other that we love each other. I asked if there was a "secret" to our success. We didn't think so.

But Roger had heard somewhere that married couples that kissed for at least 30 seconds non-stop a day stayed together vs. couples that didn't.

Well, we had that one down.

:)

Something else that I found helped out in this relationship was that I'd been a lot more communicative with my partner. If something bugged me, I told him. I didn't yell at him as much because I didn't let things fester inside of me. Likewise, he listened to what I had to say and tried to apply it to his behaviour. And vice versa. It's rare for Roger to criticize me, but if he feels the need, he knows I'll listen. We both listen, so long as it's not said in spite.



We also attempt to spend time together. We have a lot of shared interests and some not so shared interests. But our routines of "our time" never really get left out. It's as simple as making breakfast together. I'll make eggs or whatever & he'll have to make coffee. We'll watch a show on the Wii and then go our separate ways. Usually he doesn't get home until late night (because of his job & his commute) but we take time to spend 30 minutes yapping in the evening as well. It may seem kind of stupid, but small check in like this often let me know he cares.

And lastly, we try to help each other reach our goals. It might be something small like wanting to finish stitching up a toy, but he'll stay up with me until I'm done (or at least stay in the room, asleep on the couch with the cat) or something as big as starting up his business and giving him the money he needs to get his fictitious business name and business license.

Right now, Roger's working on finishing a comic (he doesn't know if he has what it takes to finish a simple comic or make it into a 16 page zine) and I'm trying to get ready for another craft fair next week. But we're talking it out by brainstorming ways to comic a "sexy librarian" comic based on how I looked going to church last week and also how to get the sewing machine to be my friend so that I can finish these stupid feet for Kirbys (6 of them) in less than 36 hours. :)



There are lots of ways not to get sick of someone, but showing affection, communicating, spending time together and helping each other really go a long way. I've learned that nagging someone, withholding affection, resenting & feeling lonely don't have to be the only way to feel in relationships. Just being happy with each other and valuing one another have made me dig someone for more than 3 - 6 months, tops.

What are some of the ways that you keep your relationship alive? How do you show you care?

5 comments:

  1. you two are freakin cute. :)

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  2. *smirks* We try. hehe

    You know, I only realised the implied meaning of my title just now. *laughs*

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  3. awwww. you guys are sweet!

    My boy and I are both creative in different ways (he's a painter and songwriter) so we do a really good job of supporting one another's creative goals. I hear about women whose husbands/boyfriends think etsying is a huge waste of time and I'm SO grateful that my boy insists that I take the time I need to spend on my shop.

    Plus, he makes my coffee every morning, and he hates the stuff. If that ain't love, I don't know what is? :)

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  4. I'm a firm believer that if someone takes time you make you coffee in the morning (whether they hate it or not), they're a keeper! :)

    And I second that whole supporting each other's creative goals bit, especially around Etsy. Roger once said "I didn't think anyone could make so much money from yarn & fluff, but you did. I'm impressed."

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  5. awww :) I love this, and I really dig your blog (and Etsy store)!

    I'm finally in a happy, healthy relationship myself and one thing I'd add onto the topic of communication is a daily dose of compliments. I see too many couples start to share only the negative after a couple years together when some of the shiny goes away. When you remind each other of what you love about each other it perpetuates those things. <3

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