Day 8: A.K. Turner gives Good Lunch

Turkish coffee set up from lunch...

When a well-known author asks you to lunch, you say yes.

When she asks you to come to ANYTHING, you automatically say YES! Especially if she kind of amazing.

I dunno about you and your face, but there's a weird feeling that washes over me when I show up to a place and people actually don't hate my face.

Lemme 'splain, as some of you may be used to charming the undergarments off all the folks in any room you happen to be meandering through.

I'm an acquired taste.

For some reason (probably my inability to master graceful transitions), I come off as a nosey jerky-jerk-jerk when *really* you'd just said a few words that made my ears perky-perk-perk.

If you haven't made yourself so damn interesting, I could have gladly minded my own business. But nooooo - you just had to say "I wish there was a way to..."

And that's all it took. My inner genie wiggles her nose and pops up right beside you, "Mmmmmmyyyeeesssss?!?"

I totally own it: I'm a rude weirdo.

But I have SUPER genuine intentions, which is why I believe most humans tolerate my quick-storm of lists to resolve the creative issue at hand.

Think Sherlock Mind Palace meets Bruce Almighty email answering scene.

That's what it's like to be in my head all day. Ugh. I mean - WOOOO!

I've been showing up to some events in Boise (mainly writer/author thingies) and

have been meeting people I never could have dreamt I'd get to know anywhere else.

One of those folks is A.K. Turner. I call her A.K. Rowling and she LOVES it! (She totally doesn't, but she tolerates me.)

I signed up for her class months ago. I started researching comedy and what made things funny. I found info that I thought that would help her with her class, "Sharpening Pencils & Wit", bought some things... Never expected to have the chance to give them to her.

After all, how would I meet her?

Apparently, she already knew about me.

Eep.

Eep!!!

So there was nothing to be weird about, but I'm a weirdo.

Then she asked me if I was going to a party. So I had to go. Then I was asked to lunch, so I went...

We 'lunched'!

Lesson from lunch: When you get your ass handed to you by a bestselling author,

you thank them and do what you're told.

Or that's what Amanda would have me believe. So I'm gonna do that. And it will be awesome. And I'm scared, but I'm still gonna fuckin' do it.

Oh shit. I'm actually gonna do the book and now I have a deadline.

Oh shit.

I mean, there were gyros & baklava involved in this contract, so it's kind of a thing now, right?

SHIT!

I owe Amanda a 2,000 word outline in a week.

Wow.

Shit...

I guess this is a thing now. This is a real thing. WEEEEEEEEEeeeeEEEEeeee!

- Steph

p.s. While this post was posted a day late, it was written on Day 8. ;) I'm currently working on Day 9, which is about my lovely trainer, Tyler. SPOILER ALERT: He read my last post about him...

Day 2: Electric Boogaloo or Emo Hair Cuts

After a year of emo up and emo downs, I did what any self-respecting hipster girl would do: Got a drastic haircut.

Let me be the first to admit how ridiculously cliche this is. I'm owning it. Did you read my thesis or whatever? Geez, guys...

Anyway, I chopped my hair off when I arrived in Nampa, ID in 2014 after the long drive from San Francisco through Rupert, ID (we spent Christmas with my workaholic twin, Bettina of iCKY the Great). Needless to say, after that particular journey, letting go of some emo-baggage was necessary.

But this post is about hair. My bad...

The gal at the Nampa Walmart (don't judge) knew what was up, which is probably why she wasn't there when I went back for more a few months later.

Like the hurt little bunny I was, I refused to cut my hair until I found someone at the same level or better.

But when you're pregnant, your body does this weird "make your hair amazing, nails on point, skin glowing with constant dew on your brow fro hauling around extra crap" that I was about 2/3 okay with.

And then, your body releases. Like my nails are falling off and my hair is coming out in bloody clumps!

While I've tolerated this for the last month, that's ridonk.

As I'm going through a lot of change with nerd JERK and consulting, I figured why not just step it up and lean into the awesome by getting a bad ass haircut I can't afford? ;)

Although it wasn't in our budget, it had to happen.

I asked my trusted friend for alllll recommendations, Bad Andie, who did the baddest ass-est hair. In classic Andie fashion, she took me in with one of those discerning looks that pierces your soul in order to determine your worthiness and allowed me into the secret society of those who may call Aly at Red Betty's Hair House.

Decked out with everything *I* would put in my rockabilly salon, complete with every pinup gal and dude (not to mention zebra print hair capes), I was instantly in love.

Plus, she knew what was up and made my dreams come true.

Welcoming in the newest version of Steph Cortés: Sassy Bad Ass!

So why should anyone really care about someone else cutting her hair? Truth is you probably shouldn't. But it made a big difference for me. My outsides are starting to look more like my insides every single day. And it's a lot of work to make outsides look like that!

I'm the lowest weight I've been in 5 years, I'm finally trusting my skills that I've been honing over the last 9 years by creating & helping others create... plus. HAIRCUT! 

One would suppose this is friggen me walking the walk: If you wanna be awesome, effing just BE AWESOME! 

Not a lot of people make it happen. I aim to prove to you that you can. It's like what Mindy Kaling said in her most recent book, Why Not Me?:

“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled.” 

I can't wait to meet her and/or Tina Fey someday. And show them this blog post as proof, to which they'll shrug and ask me what I'm doing backstage...

OH, DREAMS!

xoxo,

- Steph

On the Benefits of Shutting UP to WRITE!

For those of you who know me, you've probably noticed that once I get excited about something, it's really hard to get me to shut the cuss up.

Not to say that I can't be a good listener (to consult, one must listen, silly pants!), but I just have this enthusiasm for awesomeness. If YOU happen to be awesome - watch out! I'll wanna know more about your face. ;)

I can follow directions. I've shut up; I'm writing.

The beauty of wanting to know more about people is that I find out about more opportunities. So when I asked my husband where all the cool kids in our town were hiding (cos I couldn't find them for the life of me), he told me to check out MeetUp.

Rolling my eyes, I guffawed.... then I got curious.

So I looked for peeps hanging out there. And I swear angels sang when I found the perfect group I never knew I was looking for: Shut Up & WRITE!

Legend has it that SU&W actually started in San Francisco (srsly?! Fuuuuuck...) and grew so much in popularity, that it can be found in cities all around the world! Yeah, not only is it in Tokyo, Japan... it's in Boise, ID.

OH snap, son! I signed up, I got there on time (which is hard to do when you have a 3 months old). It was just me and Julie (the organizer). In traditional SU&W format, we schmoozed for 30 minutes, talking about our books and what we were hoping to work on today - then Julie announced the time and all bets were off. 

Mouth closed for one hour while you wrote next to another human.

A blink of an eye later, she called time and let me know it had been an hour. I had a book outline done with chapter crap already starting to fill out. I wanted more.

"There's no reason you can't stay and finish up. But we're just required to sit for the hour," Julie smiled as she packed up her notes and popped them in her bag. 

WELL, THEN! 

I've been going to SU&W for over a month now and have become kinda addicted to it. Every week is a little different, as writers drift in and out, introducing new insight on their artistic processes. I could quite happily listen to stories from these kindred spirits for hours.

In fact, I did last weekend. But that's a story for another time.

Roger and I get Ellie ready as quickly as possible, but sometimes the little guy isn't as ready as he thought he was. So I run behind and get to the meetings right before intros are over. For me, that's like getting to the birthday party and all the cake is gone. :/

But it's still wonderful. I get a chance to focus on something I'm thoughtfully pursuing. Elliott and Roger are rad enough to sit around somewhere for a couple of hours and wait for me. Sometimes, Ellie waits on me, but I don't mind.

It was only yesterday, after going to a book launch party some new friends invited me to, that I realized I might be doing something good by following Roger's advice and going out to meet people. They don't even know each other EXIST yet!

So here's my new summary on MeetUp:

Steph Cortés

A a a collector & connector of awesome humans & artistic resources, I'm writing a nonfiction how-to ebook series on selling your awesomeness online to people who *really* want to give you money (in a way that doesn't feel super gross).

My friend, Andie, called me an "Awesome Human Collector" yesterday and even though it sounds a little serial kill-y, I gotta admit - it fits.


What do you think about this "pitch" for myself? I need feedback from people that know me:

What could I say about myself that would make you WANT to get to know me?

I'm awaiting your response with bated breath... (but I might have to break for snacks.)

... 

(Just sayin'...)

Hugs, trail mix & junk,

- Steph

I am Steph Cortes & I exist: Coming back from hiatus

I love big books; I cannot lie. You other writers cannot deny...

If you're here because you have received one of my "crafted" business cards, I'm sorry... but not really.

Besides the whole recently moving from San Francisco, CA to hang out in Boise, ID (a whole other blog post in itself), I've been working on a few things in my life. My biggest focus has been to do what I'm good at for a living instead of doing just what needs to be done in order to survive.

Stuff happened in my life, but then that got handled - so now I can DO ALL THE THINGS!

When I went on (forced) hiatus in 2013, I was not sure if I'd be back to craft it up with all the rad peeps I'd met along the way. I thought I might not be able to live a normal life (health-wise). I thought I wouldn't make it past a lot of obstacles that put me in the place to need an extended break.

But then I took care of myself like I took care of a business and BOOM! Here I am.

I'm not sure Idaho is necessarily "ready for this jelly" (thanks, Beyonce!), but they're probably just gonna have to deal with it, cos here I am... and NOBODY knows me.

For those of you who DO know me (from the SF craft scene, workshops, conferences or books I helped with), you're gonna be STOKED for this blog post. And I heart you something fierce for sticking with me through it all.

For those of you who have only just met me, I'm excited for us both.

Chances are we met at a MeetUp group or a function for the Idaho Writers Guild (I've been to a few). I liked your face or something you said. You laughed at me because I was ridiculously sleep deprived, but also feeling rather ambitious (see note on doing ALL THE THINGS) and I gave you my card.

You know the one... with the janky Post-It note over my old phone number and location. 

I wanna get to know you. We should get to know each other. We should do that soonish.

Talk at me if you feel like it. I genuinely enjoy listening to you. :)

Hearts, words & junk -

- Steph